Thursday, October 13

Growing Pains

Some of the saddest days of my life have been the 3 different days that each of my children have decided on their own that they are now too big to call me 'mommy'.  Sigh.  Now I'm 'mom', and if I have made a very unpopular decision, very distinct syllables are added... 'moo.oo.oooom!'
But a wonderful phenomenon has happened with Ty.  While he has forgone 'mommy' for the most part... if he is hurt, panicked, extremely happy, or feeling extra cuddly... there IT is.  My heart about explodes.  Mommy.

This time in life finds Ty and I very entangled.  We homeschool every day together.  Savannah and Christian do the majority of their work/studies independently and need my help minimally.  Ty and I spend several hours every day sitting next to each other tackling fractions, pronouns, and the Milky Way Galaxy.  Somedays are wonderful, some... not.  He gets a whole heap load of 'mom time' and some days he has had his fill and vice versa.  He still needs me to take him places, has to ask my permission for 95% of what he wants to do, still fights me every night at the dinner table because his favorite food list is quite minimal, etc.

So I try to take 'inventory' periodically and when we have had a stretch of angst between us... it is time for the adult, that would be me even if I don't feel like it, to carve out some time to just bond.

Yesterday I needed to take Shawn and Christian clear across down and drop them off.  Savannah was at work.  It would be just Ty and I for several hours.  So finding ourselves on the opposite side of town, I made a list of things/stores that we don't get to do very often.  Ty likes JoAnns craft store because of a specific type of models that they carry.  So first stop... JoAnns.  I stood in the same aisle with him for almost an hour.  an HOUR, whew.  Boy has staying power!  He didn't even choose a model to purchase, but he left with a good wishlist for me for Christmas.  Then we went to Steak and Shake.  My boys loves skinny fries and this is his favorite eating joint.  We sat across from each other, did the mazes and puzzles on the kids menu, he got to order a chocolate milk AND a shake with his meal, and he assembled the paper car.  And probably overlooked by him but not by ME... we talked and talked and talked the whole time.  This is rare for Ty.  He is my stoic, quiet fella.  Then we went to the library.  This is a BIGGIE because this isn't our normal library location.  Meaning, going to a different library means a whole different range of movie selections to rent.  Huge, biggie, GIGANTIC brownie points on this pitstop.  He was able to find 5 movies to rent ALL for himself.  To say my boy was happy is an understatement.  Then it was time for me to take him to our church building for Cub Scout meetings.  I had to stay because I was the only one that could get him home just one hour later.  So I sat in the lobby, visited with friends, and waited for Ty.  He ran out of Scouts after making clouds... very exciting!  He stood next to me as I sat in a chair and finished a conversation with a friend, and he had his arm casually thrown around my shoulder.  Yep.  He was showing me public affection in public.  Score.  

And as soon as we got home, he raced to the TV room to watch a quick library movie before bedtime.  I was exhausted and crawled into bed, and fell asleep to the sound of my youngest boy laughing out loud (he rarely laughs out loud, he gets that from me) at his movie.  I slept so good.

And so this morning when I arose bright and early to start another day of school with Ty... THIS is what was taped to the archway immediately outside my bedroom door... a sure spot to post something that he would not want me to miss...
 Please, oh please... notice the 'mommy'.  And yes... I shed a tear.

And so we started our school day with a spelling review and quiz.
Embrace... one of Ty's spelling word for this week.  I asked him to orally tell me a sentence using each of this spelling words.  When he got to the 4th word on his list he said, "I love to embrace my mommy."  Please note that I got to be in a spelling sentence (never happens) and that he called me mommy.
 I love this guy.  I think overall he will be my toughest child to raise.  He is so very complex.  Heavenly Father blessed me with the calm first couple years with this guy because he was a super easy baby and toddler.  But now the real work begins. Thankfully days like today give me the strength to keep at it... and days like yesterday show me his is worth every ounce of time and effort.  I love him.
 And on a totally unrelated topic and because I just am having the best day... look at the view Ty and I had all day while doing school.  The sky is every shade of blue all at the same time and the clouds are magnificent.  I love my life!  I love our farm!


Quincy Sorensen said...

This was a pleasure to read, on many different levels. There is a name, a glorious name . . . (mommy).

Karen said...

What a happy day for the both of you. I loved hearing about all of it.

danakat said...

Love love LOVE from beginning to end!

Marci said...

aw that made me tear up a little.
i have my very own ty...her name is maya.;D
it's so hard somedays but when those
'mommy' days happen it makes it all worth it,
doesn't it?
love this post...hit so close to home for me.
thanks for sharing...
and that blue sky is amazing.:D