Tuesday, May 29

Keeping Score...

Big, Mean, Bully of a Machine, now referred to as the 'Green Bronco'.... 2,287,982,681 points
Christian... zip, zilch, goose egg, nada, nil, nix, shut out, void, nothing... 0 points.
Injuries not photographed by his little brother... grated knees, shredded lower arms and wrists, & skinned to near bone upper shoulders.  Shirt and jeans worn at time of 'incident'... no longer wearable.

Seems all the rain of late cut a deep rut on the edge of our driveway.  Christian, riding the 'green bronco', was unaware of newly formed rut... hit it at top speed (the boy knows no other speed, grrr) and was launched over the handlebars.  He remembers landing on the driveway on his chest and using his lower arms to elevate his face as he skid across the concrete.  He immediately rolled to his back just as the 4wheeler dislodged itself from the rut and preceded to run right over the top of him and drag him for a good distance.  Road rash like I've never seen before.

I, of course, screamed like a ninny when I first saw shredded clothes and blood... quickly verifying no broken bones, no need for stitches, etc.  Then proceeded to the next step all moms take when they realize their kid is going to be OK... I raked him over the coals for near killing himself, and said the ever logical statement..."if I ever see you riding that fast again I'm gonna ring your neck!!".
I said it.
Sensible, right?
Mom moment.
I stand by it though!

Friday, May 25

Just a dreamer...

I remember being quite young (8ish?) and looking at huge billboards on the side of the road and 'rearranging' them.  Meaning... critiquing them as to the colors that were used or font chosen, how they could be tweaked to visually be more impressive (or so I vainly thought).  I remember going to Guntersville Lake with friends in High School and spending more time looking at the lake houses skirting the lake and thinking how the properties could be landscaped differently or how the docks could be widened to allow for a seating area, etc.  My mind has worked this way ever since I can remember.

I rip out pages in magazines.  I file away 'maybe one day' projects.  I thoroughly enjoy Pinterest.
(embarrassing photo of the current condition of my nightstand...
 5 weeks of recovery, 20+ magazines devoured and torn apart to keep inspiration pages)
And my dear husband has always been perplexed by this ;)  He worries that I spend time researching and visualizing something and then it rarely actually materializes... and that it must take its toll.  Not for me though.
 (2012 Spring To Do list)
Each Spring I start a big list.  It has items to purge, clean, create, improve.  My list this year was interrupted by my surgery.  No fear.  So many items are still doable, just in a much longer time frame.  My to do lists don't nag me, they don't loom over my head... they are fun to create, fun to check off little boxes, fun to ball up and toss in the trash... EVEN if boxes are left unchecked.  gasp.  All creative and good.
Back in 2006, when we were just beginning to building of our house... we hired an incredible landscape architect.  First and foremost, he helped us place the house and carriage house on the property.  Perfection.  We then asked him to start a master landscape plan, including several key items we wanted like a pond, back pastures, pool, etc.  Not fully into that process, we asked him to stop... the house building had exhausted us, and we knew we needed to stop all future projects, LIVE in the house, take things slower.  A few years later, we had a different landscape designer come wanting to do this project.  We weren't sure we were ready to move forward.  We still were not sure we were up for more construction quite then.  The economy made the decision for us, grin, we weren't near reckless enough to finance ANYTHING at those rates.  Little more time goes by.
We found our original landscape architect again (he had left the original firm and opened his own business), and we have started the process again.  Will this time be the 'charm'?  Not sure.
 (inspiration magazine page torn out years ago for dining arbor)
Does Shawn worry that all the time I spend collecting ideas, making notes, researching, will be for not?  He probably does.
 (inspiration page for pool)
But he need not worry.  I love it.
 (chicken coop landscaping)
I realize the plan we work on now is so much more appropriate than the one we would have had if we had moved forward so quickly after building the house.  We did not even know at that time how we would REALLY use the land.  I have crumbled up 'ideas' torn out of a magazine from years ago because they just would not function with how we live.
 (pond inspiration)
Will the landscaping (or at least parts of it) finally get done?  Will our house stop looking like the one from Wizard of Oz... just plopped in the middle of a pasture... not even one bush planted around the house?  Not sure.  The saga continues and I am OK with that.  The visualizing and dreaming will continue...

Recently we found some real estate/existing building for sale that might have worked as a new office site.  While Shawn is tight on space and we are often frustrated by our current landlord, our current office serves us and our patients quite well.  We weren't actively looking to move/build, but an opportunity presented itself.  Keeping in mind I am still recovering from surgery and Shawn is super busy at church and work and doing all the things I currently can't at home.  Researching the renovation of an existing building for a dental office (codes, plumbing, wiring, etc) is a massive undertaking, etc.  We still felt it was worth a good looking in to.  We called in the experts... contractor, equipment rep, bankers etc... checked on variance codes, spoke with neighboring property/business owners... total whirlwind efforts!
All that to find out 8 days later there are not nearly enough parking spaces for patients.  Do we bulldoze part of the building to accomodate for parking as suggested by our contractor?  Will it work?  Yes.
BUT, wait...
...is this right for our family at this time.  Do we want to involve our whole family and all our time into an office construction project?  We have one short year left with Savannah at home... she graduates 2013 and is itchin' to go away to college.  Christian will be right behind her a year later preparing for a mission.  Ty is at a super busy age with school, scouts, church, and baseball.
Will land or existing buildings to renovate be available in our ideal location of town years from now?  Land, not likely.
Existing buildings available to renovate, rarely.
Building/Renovating a new dental office is put on the back burner!
Have we made the best decision?  yep.
Is all the hectic collecting of information, visualizing, and dreaming that consumed us for 8 days worthless?  NOPE.

Maybe now my husband better understands my 'dreamer' tendencies.  Maybe he sees that the time he spent on all the dental office details... the time I spend already planning out the interior design and the exterior landscaping of that future office... was necessary to come to the final decision.  Even if the decision was simply... not now.  Maybe not ever.  We will make it a matter of prayer... most importantly, a matter of what is best for family.

This is the way I see it  (I will never EVER be convinced otherwise) ... Dreams are worth the process involved, even if the dream, itself, is never a reality.  I don't want to stop dreaming! 


Wednesday, May 23

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, May 21

A Visit to Wit's End

I need to accept the fact that life does not halt, lighten up, or cease just so I can tackle one big issue at a time.  When I resolved that this was the year to solve the issue with my 10 year back pain... why, oh why, did I think, hope, expect that THAT issue could be my 'biggie' for the year?  Nice.  Neat.  Nope.

I know I am not alone in the phenomenon that when I have a big task to tackle, other... often equally important... issues are neglected.  It just happens.  And the fact that my back pain was my issue starting out this year, meant that naturally I was focused on ME... my appointments, my pain, my exhaustion, me, my, mine.  It was what it was.  I admit that.  Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me... largely due to that whole self-absorbed aspect of my trial of the moment... other people I adore most in this life... were struggling, unraveling, dealing (or not so much dealing) with THEIR trails and challenges.

On Saturday, April 14th IT happened...
...the camel walked through our door!
You know the one...
... with a straw on its broken back.

My surgery was scheduled for Thursday, April 19th.  I questioned on that Saturday before, while fully looking at that darn camel... did I really need to find out that my world really didn't revolve around the upcoming surgery?  Did I really need to bear the added weight of a non-perfect home/family?  Well, I guess I did.  Or more fairly stated... Shawn and I did.  Life just does not conveniently organize trials and not send multiple 'whoppers' done the life pipeline at once.  I considered for 2.2 seconds to postpone the surgery.  I wallowed for slightly longer in the pit of 'whoa is me'.  I contemplated administering massive guilt trips.  I cried.  Alot.  But by the next morning... and the fact that it was a Sabbath morning was not lost on me... I prayed.  Hard.

I stayed home from church, alone.  I was hurting physically, as always... but honestly, I stayed home to get answers.  Not the subtle, whispering kind of answers.  I LITERALLY prayed for lightning bolt answers.  The answers I knew existed, I've received them before.  The answers that are not easy, but right.  Answers that give me peace of mind for later.  Later, when the going gets real tough, but you know, KNOW, you are doing the right thing.  Cause the One that loved our children first, the One that loves them more, the One that loves them perfectly, gave me those answers.  I, with no doubt even thinking back weeks later, got THOSE answers.  grateful.

Inspired lightning bolts.  I knew the path for correction, the path of consequences, the path for absolute consistency was going to meet resistance.  Afterall, the offense was not a minor poor choice.  Ironically, or possibly not so, as often is the case... the onion had many layers.  The initial 'discoveries' of that Saturday night, later unveiled other 'chinks' in our family armor.  But I can also say, the fact that my Heavenly Father, THEIR Heavenly Father,  knew ALL the facts perfectly those hours I spent with Him... is a comfort to me, and was a calming influence.  Is there a greater word than gratitude?.

I write all this not to make the point that my children are imperfect, grin.  Afterall, they have imperfect earthly parents so how can we personally hold them to a standard we ourselves are unable to achieve... alone.  Therefore, the need of all of us for a Savior.

I write all this to remember later:  To remember that 2012 was NOT an awful year because it started out with an unusually large amount of trials and challenges.

To remember that I've always wanted to be a mom... even though I am fully aware that the purpose of a mother is to work herself out of a job.

To remember, especially as a mom, that giving is a natural instinct.  BUT that the 'NOT' giving is so very necessary too... and harder.  The 'not' fixing everything.  The 'not' taking away of consequences.  In essence, in 'not' giving, I give them more of things like responsibility, independence, righteous power, ability to put the pieces back together themselves through repentence/forgiveness.  My giving has needed to change as they get older.  I will never give up.  I will never stop loving them.  I will never stop praying for them by name.  I will never stop giving comfort.  But I do bite my lip more.  I must let some pieces fall... even crash down... where they may. 

I want to remember the talents I now posses that I did not when they were small.  In this phase of parenting, new talents I treasure.

I want to remember the big picture.

I want to remember the miracle known as coming 'FULL CIRCLE'.

I want to remember that our kids are good kids. 

I want to remember that I am an imperfect mother.   Although I'm pretty darn sure I would NEVER forget this point.

But most importantly... I want to remember, and pray that my children remember, that I never stop trying.  I seek inspiration.  I always have felt they were worth fighting for, even when the actual 'fighting' I do ,on their behalves,  involves stepping back so they can realize that their wings are fully formed.

Sunday, May 13


Happy Mother's Day!
While I am not able to go to church with my sweetheart and 'not so' littles... I am
 enjoying the rain, the sounds of the farm, my lovely flowers that were set next to me
 so they would be the first thing I saw when I woke up, my cards... each with
meaningful notes added, and later today my family will fix me lunch which will
consist of my favorites: BLTs, Loaded Salad, and Deviled Eggs.
 It's going to be a wonderful day!
Content Sigh....

Photos above:
1.mommy duck   2.lamb   3.duckling   4.ewe and babes   5.chick  6.raindrop

Friday, May 11

King of the.... fence?! ?

Our boys can be, ummm... how to say this kindly.... crazy?  
There is a top board on the farm fencing that surrounds the pastures.  It is a very narrow board.  Not meant to serve ANY purpose but cap off the top fence rail. 
 BUT, as many moms of boys can nod with agreement, boys rarely just let something be OR let it serve just one boring purpose.
The boys jump up on the board, which by the way is not even the width of Christian's shoe, and play 'King of the Fence' or maybe more accurately... 'Chicken'!
This day, Ty actually had cleats on.  Not sure if that was even harder to balance with than his normal shoe choice... NONE!
 This is the stance they take when they are ready to challenge.  Usually the one not laughing the hardest has the advantage.  No massive skills used in this exercise of wits insanity... just who can not laugh THEMSELVES off the fence.
 Although, I must credit Ty with the genius of figuring out early on that he has a better chance of toppling his 6+' big brother by going low.  But this tactic does not work at all times simply because Christian leaps him.
 They seriously run this board as fast as they can.  Its what my country boys do for fun!!?!  Fun?

After a long battle for the 'throne' they jump down, sweaty and breathing hard. 
 Fun stuff.
Go figure.
I rarely can claim to understand these two on most days, but I most definitely enjoy their antics.  Only time will tell if 'King of the Fence' will result in broken bones or flesh wounds, grimace.


I am sitting in my room right now listening to the two of them laughing their heads off in the classroom next door.
Christian is taking a Web Design Extra-Curricular Class for Home School.
He has loved it.  We are coming to the end of the school year and he has had to narrow down a 'topic' for his actual website that will go 'on-line' in a few short weeks.  
It will be a WebSite for Clean Jokes and Riddles...
 I know it is a spin off the texting acronym  ROFL...  (R)olling (o)n (F)loor (L)aughing... 
I think I got that right, those two are laughing so hard next door they can't hear me hollering at them to clarify if I got that right.  
When it goes 'live', as Christian terms it, I will post the actual web address.

For your giggle pleasure I will list a few jokes Ty found and contributed to the site...

* What is brown and sticky?
... a stick.  duh. 

* What did Geronimo yell when he jumped off the cliff?

... MEEEEEeeeeeee.

* Why don't skeletons fight?

... they just don't have the guts! 

 Oh dear, I just heard a full blown snort and gasping for breath next door... they must have found a REAL good one.  Seems the dumber, the more hilarious.  Boys.

Wednesday, May 9

Wordless Wednesday

Wednesday, May 2

Wordless Wednesday