he always knows what I need...

 "You are such a loving parent.

You make everyone around you happy.

You make me happy that your my mom.

I'm happy to do things for you.

It makes me smile when you smile.

It makes me glad that I'll be with you forever.

You are so beautiful.

I love to look at you.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo"

Letters

Dear Body,
I critique you harshly and curse you when you have pain.  Each scar, each incision not fretted over... just added to the others.  But there is change in the air.  Compassion from me for what you have been through... and for the first time, some respect too.

Dear Prescription Medicine,
We never get along.  I can not predict if you will help or hinder.  The balancing act that semi-worked in the past does not hold true now.  My body does not want even the most mild of outside help, it sure does not appreciate this bombardment.  I will be so relieved to no longer see each of you lined up on my nightstand.  And yet, I can not turn my back completely on the 'little gratitude thoughts' that make me shudder to think where I would be with out you at this time. 

Dear Old Oscillating Fan,
I borrowed you from my mom's shed.  You have been a blessing of 'white noise' to my family.  I can turn you on and sleep till my hearts content, and my family can carry on just outside my door as normal.  When I am awake... you must be silent... I want to hear the hustle and bustle, laughter, the sound of kids outside... but oh how I appreciate your hum when it is time to rest.  Thank you.

Dear Home,
There is no.where.else I'd rather be.  I can not start to heal until I am here.  I know exactly how many steps there are from my bed to the family room couch.  I know how to pile up the bed pillows to get the exact 45 degree angle needed to sleep.  I know the sounds that the stairs make as Savannah and Christian quietly come down them in the early hours of the morning for Seminary.  I love the squeak that the master bedroom door makes when Ty wants to peak in on me to see if I am OK.  Home.

Dear High Expectations,
I thought I had you neatly put away in a box marked 'unrealistic'.  Did I not tell you...and  myself... that you were NOT to be apart of this process?!  What I am able to do... is enough.  What does not get done... will get done eventually... or maybe not.  Because until 'I' can get you under control, how am I to then go counsel my sweetheart that he too... must let some things go right now.  You plague us both, I fear.

Dear Lists,
I have delegated my grocery list, menu list, kids need to be 'here' at this 'time' list, appointment list, school list, and all additional lists to others at this time.  I would be lying if I said I do not miss you... cause I do.  I love making the weekly/daily lists.  Checking off the little boxes.  I look forward to your return... but for now...
My only list is 'to do',  and it reads much differently than usual:
DO take necessary medications on schedule, blah, ugh, puke.
DO drink even more water than you already normally do, splash, slosh, tinkle.
DO fall asleep the very second that your body tells you to, or else you will surely regret it because one step past sleepy is extreme nausea, whimper, pout, tears.
DO read as many books and magazines as you want because this sweet luxury has never been possible for you in the past when on medications, blessing, lifesaver, sanity saver.
DO allow your amazing husband to hold you, kiss you, and wipe your tears, simple, sweet, contentment.
DO picture yourself, pain-free, healed, a couple months from now... but only if in doing so you can promise to not push, rush, or invalidate the time that is needed NOW to heal properly, patience, peace of mind, mandatory!

Love,
Me

Wordless Wednesday

Play BALL!

Today was Opening Day for Baseball at our Park.  Ty is a Cincinnati Red.  The simplest things make him happy... this year, for the first time in several years, they put the player's name on the back of their jerseys... Ty says he really likes the way his last name looks on the back of a jersey, snicker!  Good thing, cause he's kinda stuck with it... the name that is ;)  PS - the player in the background of the above photo is Trevor and he is a 'bullet'.  I have never seen a kid run/steal bases like him.  Ty mentioned on the way home today that he hopes to be as fast as Trevor by season's end.  Whew!

Ty loves to pitch and Ty loves to play 1st base.  He has played 1st base every year he has played baseball except his first year.  BUT this year his coach keeps him at shortstop.  He ROCKS shortstop!  Shawn and I completely understand why his coach puts Ty there, it is a tough position.  Ty will grow as a player not playing his comfortable 1st base position but don't expect him to smile about it.  Oh wait!  Ty doesn't smile while he plays baseball anyway.  Intense!

So todays game started out rough, like painfully rough.  End of 2nd inning and Ty's team was down 8-2.  The overthrows were killing them.  Then 3rd inning the coach put Ty in as pitcher... this is exactly the moment that my stomach started hurting and my nerves were shot.  When I said Ty was intense before, I do not overstate things.  He puts a lot of pressure on himself.  Thankfully, he shut down the runs.  His team needed that inning to regroup, badly needed that.  The proof?  Ty pitched the rest of the game, his teammates rallied and they WON 14-9.  I may or may not have been a tad obnoxious with excitement in the bleachers. 

PS- I did not get one photo of Ty pitching because my nerves did not allow me to budge from my frozen position on the bleachers.  Mom fail.

 This was Ty's best hit of the day... darn it I clicked too quick and missed his amazing follow through.  He had a full count because of 2 fouls.  He knew he had to swing at the next pitch and he dug low but made solid contact and sent the ball into the outfield.

After the game, the Coach realized he had forgotten to bring a 'game ball' to give out.  There was some discussion on who should get it.  Ty is a sure candidate... but my incredible son mentioned some other strong players to the coach to consider too.  We shall find out the game ball winner at next practice.

Game Ball or no... I've got a very happy son.  Nachos and Chick-fil-A sandwich from the concessions stand for post-game lunch may have something to do with some smiles.

 I smiled when we pulled back on to the farm.  This is proudly positioned in our front yard.  Earlier this week Ty had a 'strike zone' taped off on this pitching net (the outside square).  I hadn't noticed that sometime during the week his strike zone had become a 'strike bullseye'.  He will throws hundreds of times a day at this thing.  I even had to scold him this morning to not wear himself out PRIOR to his game.  He can be a baseball maniac...

Shawn missed the game because he is helping Christian do some prep work on his Eagle Project.  I kept Shawn updated throughout the game via text.  He had to of been perplexed when I sent the first gloomy text with us down 8-2.... and then a short time later the text announcing the win!  Grin.  Sad he missed but there is sure to be more 'rollercoaster' games for him to see all season.

Lists...

I've mentioned before that I am a list maker.  Chronically so.  It works for me.  In the past couple weeks my to do list has been lengthy.  I will be 'useless' for weeks after my upcoming surgery and I have been working at a feverish pitch to get done all I can to lighten the load on my family post surgery.  Ty and I will be 'ahead' in homeschooling... giving me the peace of mind that we will still finish on schedule.  Items like cutting the boys hair literally the day before surgery so hopefully by the time I can cut hair again they will not be long haired ragamuffins... bill payments scheduled... my bedroom cleaned and sheets washed since that is where I shall spend most of my time for many weeks... etc.  My family is very capable to manage without my help, but the load will be heavy on Shawn and I want to help as much now as I can;)

An odd list that was started when we moved out here to the countryhood is how many animals have died due to impact of them versus one of our vehicles.  Shawn and the kids hit a HUGE buck shortly after we moved out here.  Airbags deployed, major damage to vehicle, but they were all OK.  I personally have hit my share of raccoons, opossums, skunks, and armadillos.  But this past Saturday night was our oddest collision so far.  Shawn, Christian, and I were headed into town.  Christian was babysitting and Shawn and I had a date planned.  Shawn was driving and focused on the road ahead but Christian and I both saw IT flying toward us....

a gigantic wild turkey!!  Yep.  I just screamed, so very helpful in these situations, and Christian yelled, "Watch Out"... but it was too late.  That darn mammoth of an ugly thing creamed the side of my new-ish car.  My only thought was I'm going to have to pay another deductible!!  Shawn was so startled by the sound of being HIT, because he never saw the turkey... he glanced in his rear mirror and only saw feathers flying.  We were not where we could pull over so we drove on to the house of the family Christian was babysitting for and I stayed in the car while Shawn assessed the car.  I do.not.know.HOW but we only got a small scratch.  By the sheer size of the turkey and the sound it made when he hit us, I could not believe we were blessed enough to not have major damage.  So now a wild turkey has officially been added to our list of animals now deceased due to collision with our vehicles... but to be fair, the turkey actually hit US!

Making a list of dinner menus:  I have never enjoyed the whole process of menu planning, grocery shopping, and cooking.  Since moving into this house and finally having a good stovetop with griddle and grill, and good ovens... the process of cooking has become less of a dread... but still the other things are tedious.

I found this pic/idea on Pinterest (more info can be found on my Organization board) and knew it would be the key to simplifying my menu planning/grocery list.  For the past few months I have been making a list of all the different dinners we enjoy having.  There are about 50 dinners.  The idea is that you make an individual card for each dinner idea and on the back of that card the grocery list of each item needed to make that dinner.  So each Sunday night I can pull 7 cards out of the menu box, make a grocery list from them... add any additional items for breakfast and lunches, and done!  I like that the clothes pins allow for me to rearrange dinner menus in case I need to swap the original Mondays dinner with Thursday due to lack of time, etc... you know how things pop up through out the week.  I am even going to make a card that reads "Family get to take MOM out to dinner".  I always come across recipes that I want to try... once they have been made and pass the family 'keeper' test... then I can simply make and additional card for it and increase our selection.  I will start out by putting ALL the menu cards in the top pocket.  As they are put on the clothes pins and fixed as part of a weeks menus, I will then put them in the lower pocket.  This will ensure that we could easily NOT have the same dinner but once in a month!  Unless we of course wanted to.  But I was so burned out on menu planning that I was in a terrible rut and was repeating ONE dinner over and over again in one month and the family was near mutiny.  I do not have my board completed yet.  And I won't get it all done before surgery, but it will be up and functional by summer.  Yay!!!

I am making a list of the first tasks that I will tackle when I am healed and backpain FREE. 
 #1 -  officially move in to my studio.  I have purchased several things and they will be waiting and ready for me to use.  These are the brackets for 2- 8' shelves... love them!

I bought these organizers from WestElm.  I decided to keep all the boxes the same since I will have tons of antique and repurposed storage that will add interest.  I hope that these boxes will help the open shelves look interesting but not too busy.

This will be the design for my l.o.n.g work surface.  It will allow for me to put storage underneath it, and...

I am going to make a pleated skirt for the table to hide all that extra storage.  I love the details of the table skirt below, that lacing detail will be perfect for the space!

#2 - I am so embarrassed by our non-functioning linen closet upstairs.  I never had adequate linen storage in any of our previous houses, so I made sure and had a huge closet built for that purpose.  I even put french doors on the linen closet because I do believe that it can be beautiful AND functional storage and I feel the fact that it can be seen will encourage me to maintain it.  The linen closet literally is a closet with no shelves and boxes and heaps of 'stuff' currently.  That WILL change this summer.  Here are some inspirational photos that I will use to create my true linen closet!

#3 - I will be outside as soon as I am able to weed and transplant.  I know, I KNOW... it will be way past the ideal time to transplant but I have many plants that will die if left in their current locations anyway.  So I will take the risk and move them once and for all.  Ohhhhh, to garden again.  I just can't contain the joy that thought gives me.  It has been several years since I have literally plopped in a weed infested bed and weeded til my hearts content.  Did you know I love to weed?  Weird, right?  But I love the brainless, repetitive action... it relaxes me.  While Shawn and I have resolved to not plant anything NEW until we can get proper water management/irrigation implemented... I will try and keep what we currently have alive and happy.  And the fact that I will be out there again with dirt under my fingernails is literally making me smile as I type this.

And along that same line... I have researched long enough... Time to just dive in and start the process of becoming a topiary master.  I have promised myself that the very day I am healed... I will be at the Greenery buying boxwoods to sculpt.  Content sigh.  I love lists.  And I love that many items that have long been absent from my to do lists will reappear in just a short amount of time.  Joy!

Wordless Wednesday...

Random at its finest...

Truthfully, that post title may be over stating things by a mile, but I like it nonetheless... and here is our week's randomness in no particular order, hence the random:

 We've had workers in our home every day this week.  It is a loud, messy disaster area but we are so thankful for them.  We are on a very tight timetable with some big 'issues' on our horizon and need this completed a.s.a.p!!  When we told them how fast we needed it done, we were told it was impossible.  But they arrived Monday morning and have worked crazy long, hard hours and they are sure going to try and meet our 'impossible' deadline.  The carpeting upstairs may be the late comer to our repair party but if that is all that is left to do... I will feel blessed indeed.  So the first pic is of the entry.  Drywall replaced, first mudding done... first of next week sanding and more mudding.  I am not ready for more dust mess but ready or not... here it comes.

 The 1/2 bath looks bad!  It lost drywall and base, crown, and window mouldings/trim.  Painful.

Moving on to happier things... the pasture got mowed for the first time this season.  Gorgeous.  The horses and donkeys do a great job keeping it 'mowed' during the summer but the pasture always need an initial cut to do away with all the winter mess.  Even with our commercial mower, this takes Shawn quite a while to do, it is so breathtaking though.

2012 has been the year that I declared that I would do all in my power to resolve my back pain.  Part of that plan was to loose weight that has been gained due to limiting activity due to pain, but I just knew I would give myself the best chance of healing, etc, if I got that back under control.  I started loosing weight back in December.  At the first of the year, my brother Jared gathered a group of family and friends to do a 3month round of 'Biggest Loser'.  I could not count the weight I had already lost, but I joined in any way more for the encouragement.  BUT  then I got all crazy competitive... not a normal trait of mine.  It worked for me though... I won!  I am still not at my ideal goal but real close and I got a good wad of madcash  for winning.  Yippee.  2012 thus far has been more doctor appointments than I care to count...tests, labwork, EKG, 2months of physical therapy, consultations, 2nd opinions, etc, etc.  I now feel confident to say by June I should be back to gardening, back on the 4wheeler, normal activities that I have omitted in the past few years.  I need surgery, and I need to be a VERY good girl and give myself time to heal... but I should be free of pain.  That gives me goosebump to see in type!

Christian is working hard on his Eagle Project.  He is going to organize a building project for the HEALS organization at the Madison CrossRoads Elementary Dental Clinic.  They need him to provide a deck and steps for the back of the clinic... and a deck, ramp, and landing for the front of the clinic.  Whew!!  He has been doing tons of research, asking tons of opinions, and organizing all that this big of a project will include.  I'm proud of him.  He is slow as molasses but I value that he chose a doozy of a project and is determined to follow it through.

 HEALS (Health Establishments at Local Schools) is an non-profit organization here that sets up medical and dental clinics right on the campuses of local schools to benefit the students there that otherwise do not get the medical/dental treatment that they need.  They also provide things for the students including new shoes (heels for heals), etc.  Shawn has been involved with this organization since we first moved back here in 2002. 

Ty has started baseball again.  The weather has not been kind as far as allowing for many practices.  He got his uniform today.  And again I must pose the question... why oh WHY must game pants be white, whimper.  

Due to my upcoming surgery, I will miss seeing my littles in Nursery each Sunday for several weeks.  I have been busy working on some unfinished projects for them... this will eventually be a little fishing game for them, I think they will love it!  

And good news was discovered today out here in the countryhood!  One of the major conveniences that was foregone when we left a very progressive city to move out here was food delivery of any kind.  You know those times when you had something planned for dinner but all the powers in the universe joined forces to prevent you well planned dinner to materialize?  And you scramble because your gang is hungry and they get hostile when hungry?  Yet, to all pile in the car to trek into town is not what anyone feels up to doing either!  Well, for the 5 years we have lived here NO ONE delivered.  Not that we eat out all that often anyway but there are those emergencies that the option to have something cooked for you and handed to you at your front door would be nice.  Well, Lo and Behold... Shawn was walking out front to weedeat this afternoon and he jokingly said to me, "that looks like a very lost pizza delivery guy coming down our drive!"  I simply said, "ahhhh, he is way too far out here and he MUST be way lost."  Shawn walked out to the guy and the deliver guy said he had a deliver for OUR ADDRESS!  WHAT?!  But then he said it was for Misty, who lives in our Carriage House Loft.  Shawn pointed him to the carriage house.  I sprinted back through our house to witness the miraculous delivery.  And I'll be darn, there IS someplace that will drive way out here to bring us food on one of THOSE occasions.  I've never required gourmet delivery... just make it for me, drive it to my house, hand it to me through the front door, I just don't wanna cook tonight DELIVERY.  And now we have it.  Fantastic discovery by the little sis.  Score!

Tomorrow I so look forward to going to church.  I have not seen my Nursery littles in 2 weeks due to my trip to Atlanta and then General Conference.  I am thankful for my Savior, and a special Sabbath Day to contemplate and show gratitude for his Resurrection...